I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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