So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
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