Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
this must be what syphilis tastes like
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize