i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
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