Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
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