letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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