guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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