I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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