i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
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