Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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