I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize