Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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