My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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