Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize