mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
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Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
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All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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