i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
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But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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