If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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