The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize