k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
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No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
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