my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
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