wanna go halves on a baby?
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
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