this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Randomize