just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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