the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize