nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Randomize