i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
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