her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
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gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
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He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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