It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
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