The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize