i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize