Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
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You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
third nipple confirmed
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
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