Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize