So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
You're earring is so big in my mouth
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I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
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I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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