What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
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Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
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But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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