if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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