Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
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He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
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He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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