wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
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No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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