so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
3 2 1 whiskey
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Randomize