Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Randomize