Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize