i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
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