nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
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remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
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I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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