pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
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