Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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