Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
porn star boner night. come get it.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
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