I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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