my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
i think im in europe. pls send help
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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