You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
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I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
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i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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