Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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