All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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